1. Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter(wow. SGV tribune…didnt think that was possible)
2.Something went wrong in jet crash,expert says(if thats what we expect from experts nowadays I’m a professional. thorough analysis dude, really thorough.)
3.Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers(you’d think we’d have no murderers by now)
4.Panda mating fails;veternarian takes over( sorry vet-man, but you can’t copulate with another species…YOU should know that.But thank you for the dedication)
5.Miners refuse to work after death(well, its more cost effective….they are already underground…how about next year we start a campaign that forces them to dig their own graves too)
6.War dims hope for peace( hadn’t noticed, captin obvious)
7.Typhoon rips through cemetery….hundreds dead.(h.s.girl [dead since 1978]: OhMyGoodgrace[omgg]!!!! its was such a peaceful neighborhood. how would have predicted this tragic end???
more recent dead man: Its an end everyone must see in this fatal neighborhood.
Darlings***** please remember to proofread, especially if you are a journalist!!!!!!!!
Omniatalk to my amourdove 