February miscellany

For some strange reason,very late night showers never seem to satiate me.Their warmth diminishes in the coolness of the dark, keeping my bones chilled. I always step out shivering, with the sudden realization that I may never step naked out of a bathroom to man whose eyes could only be intoxicated by me.

But for now, the boys with the sweet smiles, and wild eyes will woo my heart enough. Of course, they’l never see my virgin flesh, but they’ll see my heart all the same. I’ll give them the care and words I truly think they deserve, and i’ll try only to see the good. But some have the whispers embedded in their souls from birth

_liyah haqq 5:54am

Here to stay

I held his hand gingerly, afraid that he’d pull away again. Amazing, how I understood his need to get away from my consistency, yet refused to let him go. All he knew was change and instability. I was what he had prayed for all those days climbing trees in the sun for the Caribbean dollar. Now that I stood before him, lovingly, my attempts to keep my love out of his reach having failed, I was too surreal. He couldn’t risk grasping at what may not be there, could he? So I waited, and continue to…wait for him to realise i’m here to stay.

THE FLOWERS in her hair

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The flowers in her hand fell to the floor in bunches of salmon and creamy white. Her heart crashed through the polished rosewood floors to the reception room downstairs, when she walked into her dressing room for her veil, and found her groom beneath his best man in haste fervence. She covered her mouth, shook her head and chastised, ” You couldn’t wait until after the ceremony? Ahh, pass me a faggot while you’re at it. ”

Her groom groped for the box of cigarettes, and threw it at her. She lit it, watching as the two pulled up their trousers.

“You want a green card Louie and I want my family off my back about marriage . Let’s get to this. Bye Steve. He’ll see you later.

She stomped out the cigarette , put her veil on and went to the edge of the marble stairs as the music began.

Hands up

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He shouted, cigarette resting on his lips , as his girl watched. Her blush rose to her cheeks. She knew well that boys like him would never grow up. They were the Peter Pans Of reality. They would never think themselves too old to prove their masculinity… point a generational gun at another man’s head. He was the type of boy that promised to kill , with the kiss of silver bullets to flesh. His kisses were frequent and arbitrary , but always worth it to him.

His girl watched, leaning on his stolen cadillac shuddering yet fascinated. He was a powerful beast- disloyal to everyone, candid, deluded, young, pretty , and ambitious..in his own way. He was the only person she doted over, though he rarely told anyone that that she was his.

But still  she stayed. The allure of his nonchalance and his fervent fury about life beguiled her. He was perfect danger. So she stayed leaning on the door of the caddy as he blew death into his victim’s throat.

I dreamt

I dreamt that cool is defined by the tighter the pants are and the bigger that ass that shapes it.

Forget the early promotion because my grades are high, if I wasn’t getting high. And nothing’s wrong with blazing, but to do doesn’t automatically make me amazing.

I refuse to conform to a society that tells me I’m lame if i’m not exactly the same.
One that slaps you in the face if you smile too big at the world. One that calms your bright spirit and lets your dark side loose…

A world run by people who stand behind the noose. And if you think  you’re better because your lighter, please know that you suffer from the same lynching as your darker brother. You’ve been given what seems to be elevation, but remember all thats high, must fall . They’ve fed to you these stereotypes that beautify the whitest skin and demote the chocolate flesh.

When I awoke, I heard children screaming out for freedom through thick clouds of smoke, from under snapbacks and from behind the leaders of their cliques. And I cried with them, deep in my heart , so no one would see we aren’t pleased.

Written Can’t be completely erased

I have this idea of a perfect kind of love that consists of smoking weed on queen sized beds. And holding hands and kisses that last forever in a few moments .And memories that fade fast because new and better ones are being made every second we breathe.

Him: Is This love with me ?
   I sighe and smile. I suddenly understand , ‘Its complicated.’

Its perfect.Because i’m in love with you and u love me and the stars always shine in your eyes.So they’re my night skies. And i’m a diamond..not the perfect kind, but the one just dug up and you’re  the sunlight thatt reflects off me and through me.  We’re one , yet we’re still ourselves.

Him: I hope what ur saying is more than a poem. Just say yes.

Its how i’m feeling right now. Now that its too late to try and push away these feelings that I know are still there, ‘cuz they never disappeared.They just slipped into all the places no one’s allowed to see. Now morning’s almost here and i’m not thinking of Dupre. Only you and me and the possibility.

Him: I love you …. if you think you still feel the same believe it . But its late, good night love , hope you sleep well. 

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Main road love

On the main road as we walked shy hand in hand, we kissed, not knowing that eyes saw and recognised us in our blue and white uniform. We thought, that as night approached, and our group project crumpled in his hand, no one would be looking at two kids in secret love. Afterall, hadn’t they all liked someone so much it lasted forever in only a few seconds?